THIS IS SATIRE.
What inspired me to write this was from the disgust I've felt towards recent observations on social media. In the past two weeks, I have been dumbfounded by how much people are willing to speak up on behalf of a dog/dog breed experiencing 'discrimination' but express no outrage to news like Black people being lynched in America and police departments deeming them deaths by suicide. Those who will say "All Lives Matter" or "Blue Lives Matter" are the same ones who are bending over backwards to defend one specific breed of dog. I have felt all the anger and sadness I can bare at this point towards recent and reoccurring events, so all I can do at this point is laugh at the reality we are living in. I have to laugh at the fact that the only way for me at this point - a Black woman - to express this hypocrisy is by using a language people seem be receptive to - animal injustices. It's sad really, but let's give it a go.
I will mention, I am not at all endorsing animal abuse nor do I support the ways in which recent events back home have unfolded. I am empathetic to the victims. I am sympathetic to pitbulls and understand the frustration of those breeds getting a bad rep...
So without further ado, enjoy my first attempt at satire.
Hey folks, thanks for joining me here today to talk pup politics. I hope you all were able to find parking and had the time to help yourself to some refreshments.
Okay, so first off, I thought it would be fitting to take a moment to pay our respects. Firstly, to that poor pitbull that was killed in Musquodoboit a few weeks back by that vigilante. What a shame. Second, to that poor dog that lady swung around in Halifax, what a sin.
Alright, let's get started. I'm not here today to talk about those dogs and the parties affected, I'm here to talk about ALL dogs. You know why? Because All Dog Lives Matter. All dogs are facing hardships these days and all breeds suffer equally.
Sorry ma'am, could you speak up?
Well, I know pitbulls have been getting a lot of heat these days, but did you know Dalmatians have many breeding defects? 1 in 12 Dalmatians are born deaf. They are also very prone to allergies. What a shame. We should really pay more attention to their needs to help these dogs live a full and healthy life. Another breed that is...
Sorry, can you repeat what you just said?
I know, I know. You own a pitbull, and you sir have a sister-in-law who owns a pitbull. What's that you say? They're harmless - misunderstood giant teddy bears? Why are you asking me if I ever met a pitbull? Well no, but I don't need to. I already know enough from media to form a credible opinion. If they weren't doing anything bad, they wouldn't be in trouble!
Wait! Actually, I did meet a pitbull once. She was nice and there were no troubles with pitbulls when I met her, so I don't see why everyone is fussing now. Her owner even said she's never had any issues with authorities regarding her pitbull. To add, she told me she doesn't understand why other pitbull owners have become so defensive. She does not know why owners are seeking safety for their dogs who are 'supposedly' facing persecution.
Anyways, back to all dogs - did you know that... I don't understand why you keep interrupting me.
We get it, good owner means good pitbull. To be honest, people find them intimidating and again, I've never seen any bias towards pitbulls in my life so I don't see what you're trying to get at.
Oh, a campground has banned them because they're perceived as a threat? To be honest, I'm not really sure that matters because the majority of all other dogs are allowed at the campground... I don't see why you're being so hysterical...
Alright, only a few minutes left so let's get back to it! All dogs lives matter because... What? Yes, all dogs matter but what? There is no but.
Okay, okay. I'll let you finish what you're trying to say. All dogs matter but at the moment pitbulls lives are at the most risk? Well what about the Dalmatians I mentioned earlier or what I was about to mention - the lack of opportunities German Shepherds get to enroll in the police academy these days! Their livelihood and ways of being are on the line, don't they matter? I think you're being pretty selfish to think pitbulls are the only dogs we should be talking about right now. What about the poor stray pups somewhere in Africa? Or the kill shelters in Mexico!?
You heard some German Shepherds have been hurting civilians on duty? I don't see how that's relevant. I know a lot of German Shepherds, and they're all good boys. Don't let one rotten critter spoil all the ones doing what they're trained to do.
That's not your point? We have spent too much time fabricating a good name for German Shepherds just to let you vandalize their reputation. How dare you!.. Well, you said that Shepherds were behaving hostile like, so god forbid you make all Shepherds look bad when there are many, many good ones.
That could be said for pitpulls too? Pfft.
There is so much more to focus on than your pitbulls who 'apparently' are at high risk of being banned and euthanized. Did you know there are over 340 breeds of dogs in the world? Have you ever stopped to think that pitbulls have it good here in Canada compared to other counties??
Know what, enough of this. I'm sticking to what I said and I'm not willing to entertain your divisive rhetoric. All Dog Lives Matter. Come back when you're done stirring the pot and ready to agree with me. Now, let me get back to our unchallenged perceptions and norms that many other dogs have benefited from for the last 400-some-years.
I'd like anyone who says Pitbull Lives Matter to leave. Good day and God bless you and your family.
Get my drift here? Why is it society can empathize with a breed of dog but not the life of a human being who endlessly faces hardship because of their skin color? Why do people feel the need to tell the world that police officers are good when that is not the core of the conversation? Why do people become defensive and accusatory when BIPOC express their lived experiences? Why is it easy for people to understand Pitbull Lives Matter, but not Black Lives Matter? My only answer is that some are unable to see beyond their own existence and only factor in events or injustices that hit close to home. "Don't dare disrupt the status quo". I get it, your child is a police officer and you're scared for their well-being and reputation. I get it, you wish things would go back to the 'good old days'. BUT, reality check, BIPOC have to carry this weight on their back every single day, whether you've decided it is worth discussing or not. This is not our choice, but being a bigot IS A CHOICE. If the energy and time people have spent debating pitpulls' existence was applied to BIPOC lives, we might get somewhere quicker. What does this say about individuals when they see the lives of a dog as priority over a human being? Can they not see the hypocrisy in all this?