Updated: Apr 27, 2020
"I wished the world seen me, as the trees do.
Purely me, when walking alone with thee.
No comparisons to be had.
Nothing to be mad about.
When the trees talk, I walk back; touching to root and connect.
Acknowledging the life that is coexisting all around us.
Trees feel for my soul, and push out the ego.
Stripping down my bark, roughed with insecurities that the world is not buying my act.
Misunderstanding my many masks as being ingenuine, but the trees know; I just don't know how to act past the small talk.
Osmosis of my anxieties; I'm too outspoken and loud.
But the trees don't mind.
They let me be me. They let me wonder, I ponder.
Turns out, I'm just trying to live free, like thee.
The leaves fall, but the roots still communicate below.
Goes to show, the flower is not what makes her beautiful, it's the complexity of her roots. Roots that only few will understand."
- April 16, 2020
Throughout my life, I feel like I’ve played the role of social chameleon – for many reasons I will not get into today. I catch myself in small talk, exhibiting an extrovert persona because I think that is what others want from me, and that it is the best way to ‘fit in’.
As I get older, I realize, I do not have to do this anymore. My energy is limited to those who care to understand me and not judge me based off what their perception of me is. My coming of age has been trying to internalize the idea that not everyone has to like me or find my interests interesting AND THAT IS OKAY.
Although this mindset is not always easy to maintain, I still consider myself a social butterfly, I simply choose more mindfully which flowers to land on.
Portrait by Nevena Kusmuk